Hurricanes 5 Oilers 0

I don't want to play musical goalies in this situation. I want to pretend I have confidence in my guy. If I start Markkanen, I'm expressing an opinion about Conklin. If Jussi is lousy, where do I go from there?

Quite simply, the Oilers played like a bunch of dickheads. They tried to be too cute instead of just shooting the damn puck at a goalie who was giving out rebounds like a trampoline. They took idiotic penalties. They gave up odd-man rushes on stupid pinches. They refused to direct anything towards the net on powerplays. At least Hemsky looked good.

I'm actually happy the Oil got spanked tonight. If you are going to lose a game, you might as well do it in a fashion that pisses some people off. This was such a frustrating game to watch. I was absolutely furious for most of it. I'm still furious. I'm livid. I want to go to the airport to meet the players -- and kick their asses.

It's like the five goddamned stages of a ball-kick loss: Hope, Denial, Frustration, Rage, Depression. I'm too forlorn to cry. Or drink. I need--love. Only love.

As the period wore on, and it became more clear that the Oilers were not going to mount a comeback, things nearly got chippy. "G.G." Laraque took three consecutive penalties, and they were all of the "dumb" variety. Even "thuggish". Laraque, who has been used sparingly as a bit of an aggressor, was called for tripping at 11:14, and was ejected from the game after being given a five minute boarding major (plus game misconduct) at 16:44. With the goon ejected, and a major penalty on the board, this gave the Canes an opportunity to pour gasoline on the fire. However, they simply used the clock as their ally, melting the remaining 3:16.

Why didn't the Oil equipment manager just hand Georges Laraque the folding chair and let him use that on Andrew Ladd? Wouldn't have been more dramatic if Ethan Moreau could have just jumped off the top of the penalty box and hit Glen Wesley with that sucker punch to the throat? I guess there just wasn't time to properly script a proper Wrestlemania.

(snip)

Seriously, that crap out of Dredy Locks Laraque was absolute thuggery. He takes a run at Wallin's legs then boards Andrew Ladd when the boy's head is down. And the Canes take it? You're up five goals and nobody takes a shot at Moreau? That's the only bittersweet thing about tonight for me.

I keep flipping the channels and surfing the net, looking for a single positive outcome from tonight's hockey game. Yet there is nothing. I can't sleep, I can't read, and I can't play video games. It's raining in Edmonton, still and yet again, and the city is silent. I imagine others are tossing and turning, unwillingly burning the midnight oil. I can't do anything but sit here with a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach, hoping beyond all hope that at the very least, this pain will go away. That's the point I am at right now, willing to settle for the very least. I know I am not alone in my anguish, which only exacerbates it. Collective suffering is a failed remedy this evening. I suppose I'll have to pass out sooner or later, that exhaustion will finally overcome all. But I think it's going to take awhile, and that the great depression will live on.

Did I just rhyme? God, now I am even more depressed.

I'm actually a little skurred, now, going back to the Northlands Coliseum. Things are going to get ugly--very, very ugly--if the 'Canes aren't careful. The key will be to come out hard, put some points on the board early, and keep the pedal to the proverbial metal. If the 'Canes let the Oilers back in this series, there's going to be trouble.